Dismissiveness: Remove These 5 Statements from Your Communication

When it comes to upsets and conflict, one of the worst things you can do is respond in a way that is dismissive or minimizing. The last thing in the world people want to hear is you telling them their upset isn’t really a problem. That response is not calming. It won’t reassure them. And […]

Women and the Loss of Self

To all the women who have ever said, “I don’t even recognize who I am anymore.” Life started as an experiment in daring to find yourself, speak for yourself and fight for yourself. You dared to say no to others and yes to yourself, only to find that you would be called selfish as a […]

10 Ways Women Give Their Power Away (Part I)

From the moment we enter this world, women are taught harmful messages about who we are, how we are and how we should be. Unfortunately those messages take a toll over time. These messages can make owning our power a herculean feat if we’re not careful. Below are five ways many of us women give […]

Supporting Loved Ones in the Aftermath of Affairs (Part II)

This is the final part of last week’s post (http://lisamerlobooth.com/supporting-loved-ones-aftermath-affairs-part/) on supporting your loved ones through the fallout of affairs. 1. Multiple affairs increase the pain and the healing time. If this is not the first affair, then the healing will take longer. Now the person is angry with their spouse for cheating in the […]

The 5 Most Common Edges (Part II)

As I wrote last week, our “edge” is that relationally-dysfunctional move we do in times of stress or conflict—when we are reactive rather than mindful. Last week I spoke about defensiveness and acting passive-aggressive (http://lisamerlobooth.com/5-common-edges-part/. Below are the remaining three most common edges: 1. Rage: Raging shows up as any or all of the following: […]

The 5 Most Common Edges and What to Do About Them (Part I)

Our “edge” is that relationally-dysfunctional move we do in times of stress or conflict. It’s the move we do when we’re reactive, rather than mindful. ALL human beings have edges. And most of us have two or three edges that show up time and time again with anyone and everyone. You see, the thing about […]

A Message to Women: Don’t Collude

Many of us are acutely aware of the harmful messages our world sends to men and women. These messages put both genders in a box that’s difficult to get out of. For men, the messages center around “manning up.” For women, they center around “sexing up.” This post is for the women. The world objectifies […]

When Change Seems Impossible, Try This

Most people who feel stuck try to solve their problems in the same way—they largely focus their time and attention on trying to change the other person. More times than not, they complain, yell, scream, plead, shut down, defend, rationalize and essentially do whatever they can to get the other person to “see the light.” […]

Assumptions: It’s Not What You Think

Being mindful of why we do what we do in the world can be hard work; interpreting why others do what they do, on top of monitoring ourselves, is a recipe for disaster. The problem with interpreting others’ actions is that the things we make up about another person’s behavior is almost always negatively skewed: […]