10 Behaviors that Destroy Healthy Relationships

Creating healthy relationships requires mindfulness, not a PhD. A past mentor of mine use to say to the couples he was working with, “If you go out in the rain without an umbrella, you’re going to get wet. Don’t blame me for getting wet.” Relationships are the same thing—if you treat those around you poorly, […]

Empowerment Starts with Speaking Your Truth

What if you shared your honest opinions—time and time again? What if you told your partner what you really think—each time s/he asks? What if you stepped in when the black girl, homosexual boy or Muslim woman is being harassed and dared to say that the bullying is about the harasser’s own insecurity, not the […]

The Underlying Message of Silence—Intended or Unintended

“Inherent in Your Silence is Acceptance” ~LMB The underlying message of silence, like it or not, is acceptance. This is particularly true for hurtful offenses. In fact, the bigger the offense—responded to by silence—the louder a message of acceptance is being conveyed. This is an often unspoken truth in courtrooms, offices and even homes. •   […]

Changing the World, Your Marriage or Your Job, Requires Action

“Inherent in your silence is acceptance” ~LMB Many people talk about wanting to stop racism, address patriarchy, end misogyny and shut down oppression of all groups. Men and women of all races and sexual orientations have come out of the woodwork to march against these issues—particularly in this past year. Marching, talking against and wanting […]

Life Choices: Get Others Out of Your Head Unless They’re Living Your Life

Life often throws people a curve ball that leaves them floundering a bit from the hit. A marriage is rocked by an affair, an employee is laid off, a family member dies, a student fails out of college and on and on. Often loved ones respond to these unfortunate events by telling us what to […]

10 Tenets to Healthy Relationships

Healthy relationships don’t just magically happen. There are several key ingredients that are present in every healthy relationship and some that are necessarily absent. Too many people normalize harmful behaviors and dismiss the importance of positive behaviors. The bottom-line is however you can’t have great relationships if you and others aren’t great in them. If […]

Healthy Self-Esteem: Don’t Allow Others to Define You

The thoughts, opinions and beliefs others have about your sense of worth have absolutely nothing to do with your level of worth. In a world where so many are judging others based on their race, looks, gender, sexual orientation and on and on, many individuals can begin to feel small. Don’t buy in. Don’t ever […]

The Loss of Self and Finding Yourself Again

Finding Yourself Again Women I work with often tell me they’ve lost themselves. Somewhere along the way, they stopped seeing things through their own lenses, stopped taking care of their needs and stopped paying attention to what they wanted. Instead, they took care of the kids, tried to be there for their husbands, worked hard […]

The Cost of the Quick Fix is More Than You Imagine

As I sit with yet another couple drowning from the fallout of another affair, I’m struck by what seems to be an epidemic of people looking for the quick fix to life’s problems. •    People unhappy in their marriages are turning to affairs. •    People feeling sad or down want a drug to make the […]

How to Squash Sex and Intimacy in Your Marriage (Part 2)

If you would like an emotionally intimate, sexually gratifying marriage, be sure you are not behaving like any of the characters below. 1.    The entitled one. Act entitled. Act as if your needs are the only ones that matter. Be a selfish lover and demand sex when you want it and how you want it. […]