Weekly Tip: Changing from explaining, minimizing, or justifying your actions to owning the impact your actions cause changes the trajectory of your relationship. There are few things more frustrating, disappointing, or infuriating than constantly having your upsets responded to with statements like: Why are you making such a big deal out of that? It’s not […]
Do you feel great to be around?
“Stay close to anything that makes you glad you are alive.” — Hafez Become someone who makes those around you feel good about themselves. Regarding relationships, this quote reminds me of the importance of the acronym KISS—Keep It Simple ‘Silly’ (the last ‘S’ is actually ‘Stupid’ lol; however, since this post is about Humane Kindness—let’s […]
Marriage Is a Partnership, Not a Parent-Ship
“Marriage is a partnership, not a parent-ship. Being the ‘boss’ over the money makes you a parent, not a partner.” ~LMB Finances are a notoriously tricky issue for couples: How much should we save? How much should we spend? What are our financial goals? Should we have joint or separate bank accounts? If one person makes […]
Is Aggression and Emotional Volatility in Women Okay?
“Aggression, intimidation, and emotional volatility are no more okay for men than for women.” ~LMB Many people hear statements like the one above and quickly dismiss them, saying there is a double standard for men and women regarding anger. They say men can rage, bully, and snap, and the world is okay with that. However, […]
Out With the Old; In With the New
“True peace is not merely the absence of tension; it is the presence of justice.” ~Martin Luther King The harder you work to “keep the peace,” shut down conflict and avoid having difficult conversations, the more you guarantee a lack of true peace—in your home and in yourself. Walking on eggshells, silencing, avoiding, or pretending […]
The Truth About Being the ‘Good Guy’
“Just because you believe you’re a “good guy” doesn’t mean you’re a good guy.” ~LMB I used to get caught off guard when men in my office would nonchalantly defend their emotional abuse of their wives. It’s quite an interesting phenomenon to watch because the men are genuine in their self-defense and often shocked and […]
You Do What You Do Because You Choose To; Choose Wisely
“You do what you do because you choose to; choose wisely.” ~Lisa Merlo-Booth Do you ever tell yourself that you do what you do because others make you? Perhaps you think you yell because your partner doesn’t listen, or you shut down because your partner gets angry, or you don’t tell others the truth because they […]
The Long-Term Damage of Revenge on Your Life and Relationships
“Sweet revenge” is only sweet for a moment; The long-term damage of revenge, however, can last a lifetime. ~LMB Much of the world’s violence is the result of revenge and retaliation. In your hurt and anger, you often want to lash back at the person who has harmed you. You believe that getting back at them will somehow show […]
Be Sure You Are Giving and Receiving in Your Life
“You cannot create a strong foundation in your home, on the job, or in the world, without reciprocity. Be sure you are giving and receiving in your life.” ~ Lisa Merlo-Booth Without reciprocity, relationships struggle. When humane kindness, respect, and safety only flow one way in a marriage, friendship, or job, cracks in the foundation develop. No relationship […]
Mastering the Art of Support
“Support is about being there for others in the way they want you to be, not in the way you think they should want you to be. Some things are not about you.” ~Lisa Merlo-Booth A key component in support is the ability to step outside of your story and into the other person’s. Stepping outside […]
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