A dash of unconsciousness, a dab of aloofness, a healthy serving of unhealthy self-esteem, a spoonful of selfishness, a touch of reactivity and a sprinkle of rage and intimidation are the main ingredients to creating an incredibly miserable relationship. Top it off with defensiveness and voilà there you have it.
And here’s how you put these ingredients into practice:
1. Don’t listen. Get into the habit of tuning your partner out. When they speak to you, simply nod your head and go about your business. Better yet, don’t even nod your head—simply act like a deer in the headlights and say nothing. After you do this enough, your partner will feel totally lonely and frustrated.
2. Bully your partner. Bullying is great for creating toxic relationships fast—every once in a while really go off. Yell, scream, maybe even punch a wall or two. In fact, be super reactive, so your partner never knows when you’re going to blow a gasket—that way they’ll have to walk on eggshells everyday in their own home. Bullying will help any relationship feel super unsafe and will show your partner that no way in hell can they count on you.
3. Be aloof and uninvolved. Say very little about your day, your thoughts, your dreams or your feelings. Hold almost everything in and simply be a body taking up space in your home. Come home and ignore your family—do work, watch TV and send the message that they’re annoying you whenever they try to engage with you. This will push your partner away, so you don’t have to interact or have conversations—ugh. Conversations are so annoying!
4. Complain constantly. Really live it up with this one. The more your partner does for you, the more you should be sure to critique each effort by noting what’s missing. Leading your partner to feel that nothing they do is right is a brilliant way to create misery.
5. NEVER say you’re sorry. In fact, do really horrendous things and absolutely REFUSE to apologize. You can even blame your bad behavior on them—that would be like the Fast Pass at Disney World for a miserable relationship. Really screw up and take NO accountability for your actions—after all it is kind of weak to apologize, don’t you think?
Well, there you have it—your operating manual for miserable relationships. If you’re doing any of the above consistently you’re doing a nice job of bringing toxicity into your relationship. If you’re doing three or more—you’re a CHAMP—no one would find it easy to live with you! Keep up the misery it will surely keep people off your back and distant.
Challenge: Try any of the above for a week or two if you want serious problems in your relationships. If you really want to lose your relationship, then incorporate three or four of these moves into your weekly routines—you’ll be alone in no time or at least leave your partner wishing they were alone.