“Confusing your presence with being present will harm your relationship every time.” ~LMB
Living in the age of technology can make relationships exponentially more difficult. We are under a constant barrage of stimuli competing for our attention. We have e-mails, text messages, phone calls, mobile apps, computers, movies, social media, etc., hounding us to pay attention to them. We can be reached anywhere in the world. We’re expected to return texts immediately, answer e-mails within 24-hours (even if you have a hundred each day) and return calls immediately. If you have a business, you’re expected to tweet, post, blog and post a video up to three times a day.
The constant stimuli pulling at us has become so common that many of us don’t even realize how tuned out we are. We check our phones at meals, in stores and even mid-conversation. We play games while watching movies, answer e-mails while playing games and text while having friends over. When we’re off work, we’re still “on”—doing a tweet here, a Facebook post there, answering messages, etc. When we look around we notice that much of the world is doing the same thing—so we breathe a sigh of relief. If everybody’s doing it, then it must not be that bad.
We need to stop breathing that sigh of relief. Great relationships require the ability to recognize when we need to tune in to our relationships and tune out of the excess. Numbing out to the constant hum of stimuli with which we surround ourselves will numb us out in our relationships. Keep your finger on the pulse of your loved ones. Put the technology down. Look your loved ones in the eye and have a conversation. Share your experiences with them and ask them about theirs. Technology has a way of insidiously creating distance in relationships. Don’t allow the constant pull of technology to pull you right out of your relationships—with your spouse, your child, your friend or your family. Tune into your relationships and tune out all the noise.
Challenge: Pay attention to how much you’re not paying attention to the important things in life. Put time aside to truly be present—not just in the same room. Notice the difference.