Character shows up when no one’s watching. It shows up in the hard times not the easy ones. It rears its head in how one speaks about their enemies not their friends. It shows up in the boardroom when money is being lost not flowing. Character shines through in how a person speaks about their ex, their least experienced employee and their greatest competitor.
Don’t be fooled into thinking that because a person acts kind in the easy times that s/he will be kind in the hard ones. Don’t be so naïve as to think that because a person treats you kindly it’s because the people s/he doesn’t treat kind are some how crazy, evil or flawed. People’s character shows up in how they treat all people—those above them, below them and standing beside them. It shows up in how they fight, how they listen or don’t listen and how they respond—in the most difficult of times.
Character, yours’, mine and others’, is determined by every day actions over time. It’s not about words and who a person says they are or want to be. It’s about whom they show up being time and time again.
It feels good to be in relationship with those who act with integrity and have great character. It feels shaky, uncertain and insecure or unsafe to be around people with questionable characters. Recognize the difference—it will alter your relationships. When you have the courage to raise the bar on your own character as well as the characters of those you hang out with—it will alter your life.
Challenge: When it comes to character—pay attention to how people show up in the world in good times and bad and with people they admire and those they don’t. Don’t be fooled by words—always pay attention to consistent actions over time.