“Rationalizing, defending, covering up, denying, and turning a blind eye to harmful behavior is being complicit to that behavior. Don’t ever be complicit.” ~LMB
When you explain away, justify, or turn your back on harmful acts, you open the door for those acts to continue and to worsen. Each time you do any of the above, you are also complicit in those acts. You are complicit when you cover for a friends’ affair, make excuses for your loved one’s actions, rationalize violence on behalf of a cause, or defend the storming of our nation’s Capital.
Complicity occurs on the job, in the home, on the streets, in governments, and in the world. Every time one person is complicit in another person’s harm, they take part in that harm. And when you excuse one person’s actions due to the actions of another person or group, you keep the cycle of hurt spinning.
Stop the spinning. Refuse to justify, enable, defend, or incite hurtful behavior—towards others or yourself. Don’t ever think that one person’s bad behavior is okay because of another person or group’s poor behavior; it isn’t. When behavior crosses the line, hold the person(s) accountable. Don’t shrink to avoid their upset, or appease them not to rock the boat. Step in with a Grounded Powerful Strength (GPS) and hold them accountable for the actions they have chosen to take; do this every time, with everyone—regardless of power, position, gender, or (fill in the blank).
Challenge: Pay attention to all the ways you rationalize, defend, dismiss, or otherwise enable harmful behavior—in your home and the world. The next time you’re tempted to do any of these, take a step back, gain clarity, and find the courage to hold them accountable with a grounded, powerful strength.