“If your relationships are not physically, emotionally, verbally, and psychologically safe, you cannot have true intimacy and connection.” ~LMB
No matter how angry you or your partner becomes, there should be a hardline that no one crosses when angry. That line includes no raging, verbal attacks, name-calling, or contempt toward each other (or loved ones). Uncompromising Safety™ is at the foundation of every healthy relationship. Romantic partners and family members should be the safest people in each other’s lives and know that they have a safe haven once they walk through those doors.
Calling your partner names is verbal abuse. It doesn’t matter if you call them names once a month, once a week, or once a year; name-calling is verbally abusive and destroys connection. Verbal attacks, on any level, show that you’re potentially unsafe at any time. Your actions teach them they can’t trust you, leading them to consciously or unconsciously be hesitant, guarded, and vigilant around you.
You are unsafe if you’re yelling, swearing, shaming, or calling a loved one names. Sadly, many homes and romantic partnerships are rife with anger, blow-ups, and walking on eggshells. Take an honest inventory of your home and relationships regarding emotional and verbal abuse. Your anger does not give you the right to be abusive, nor does another person’s anger excuse their harmful behavior.
Everyone deserves a safe haven in their lives. Without Uncompromising Safety, you cannot have this refuge for you or your family.
Challenge: If you are walking on eggshells around someone you love or others are walking on eggshells around you, take time this coming year to create an environment of Uncompromising Safety. Your home and intimate relationships should be safe havens for everyone involved.