“Do no harm and allow no harm to be done.” ~Lisa Merlo-Booth
There is an underlying belief in many people that aggression, bullying, shaming, yelling, or intimidating is okay if you don’t like someone’s behavior. You may think that it’s okay to snap at your partner for forgetting the milk. Perhaps you believe that if your employee misses a deadline that they deserve to be shamed by you? Maybe you think that if someone yells and screams that you’re justified in raging in response? The truth is that you absolutely can do, or allow others to do, all of these behaviors; after all, you are an adult and can choose to do or allow any of the above. However, what you don’t get to do is to do or allow any of these actions without consequences.
Aggression harms relationships. Hot tempers make relationships, families, and work environments unsafe. Retaliation creates an endless loop of hurt. And healthy connections are unattainable without physical, emotional, and psychological safety.
If you genuinely want relationships that feel good to come home to, then aggression, intimidation, and bullying on any level have to be off the table. Embrace radical new relationships. Make this foundational principle your guide stick going forward: Do no harm, allow no harm to be done (from you towards others or others towards you/others).
Challenge: Refuse to excuse aggression, intimidation, bullying, or abuse on any level towards you or from you. Healthy relationships cannot exist without this one paramount relationship principle.