“Frequently telling others what to do and how to do it is controlling. Control decimates relationships.” ~LMB
Are you frequently critiquing the looks, actions, and words, of those around you? When others do things for you, do you repeatedly tell them how they could’ve done it better? Do you find yourself often complaining about what others do? Do people complain that they “can never please you”? If you answer yes to two or more of the above questions, you likely struggle with issues of control and micromanaging.
Nobody likes to be controlled. Having someone you love constantly tweak your behavior to “make it better” gets old fast. Although you may think that how others load the dishwasher, dress, or (fill in the blank) is the problem, it’s not. Telling others how to do things is not about the “best” way to get things done. Micro-managing others is about your anxiety about how things need to be done. It is not about how others are doing them.
Rather than micro-managing others to reduce your anxiety, your work is to manage your anxiety. Stop telling others how to do things. Slow down your impulse to critique. Allow others to manage issues the way they want to manage them. Take a deep breath and LET GO:
- Dishes will get washed.
- People will get dressed.
- And life will go on.
Don’t get so lost in the details of frivolous issues that you break down your relationships. Recognize that there is more than one “right” way to do something. Allow others to do things their “right” way and then celebrate your ability to manage you rather than them.
Challenge: Demanding others do things your way because you somehow are “sure” that it is best, is controlling. Nobody likes to be controlled. Manage your anxiety and stop micromanaging the world. You will feel better, and so will those around you as a result.