“Affairs harm everyone involved. Fix your marriage or leave; don’t cheat.” ~Lisa Merlo-Booth
Looking outside your marriage to fix what’s missing inside it is never the answer to marital problems. Affairs impact far too many couples. Although we often hear that affairs are common and couples can recover, the truth is:
- Children and families are often devastated by the fallout of affairs.
- The person who cheats is repeatedly stressed about being “found out.”
- Only 12.7% of marriages survive long-term affairs.
- For the couples who choose to stay together, it takes 3-5 years to heal from an affair
- Contrary to what some people believe, not “everyone cheats”. Statistics show that approximately 25% of men and 13% of women have affairs.
- Although 88% of lovers hope their affair partner will leave their spouse, only 13% actually leave.
If you’re unhappy in your marriage, do the work necessary to change it or earn your way out. And if you’re not unhappy but think having an affair or one-night stand would be “harmless fun,” think again. There is nothing harmless about cheating on and lying to the people you love. Find the courage to have direct conversations about what is missing, what you want, and what you need in this relationship. Always remember that even when the grass looks so much greener on the other side, seldom is it ever as good as it seems. Weeds hide in the damnedest places; just because you can’t see them doesn’t mean they’re not there.
Challenge: Take the high road always. No matter how unhappy or bored you are in your relationship, cheating is not the answer. Don’t minimize the damage done by affairs as a way to ease your guilt for entering one. The damage is tremendous, for far more people involved than you think.