“No relationship should ever leave you feeling physically or emotionally unsafe. Don’t ever question this truth—Live by it.” ~Lisa Merlo-Booth
Far too many people stay in relationships that leave them feeling sad, bad about themselves, or even scared for their safety. No relationship should ever leave you feeling physically or emotionally unsafe. And contrary to popular opinion, the closest relationships in your life should be the safest relationships in your life.
Let me say that again: the closest relationships in your life should be the safest relationships in your life.
Most people believe yelling, shaming, name-calling, and blowing up in anger are normal parts of being in a relationship. People often assume that the closer the relationship, the more okay and “normal” these behaviors are. These behaviors are particularly normalized in romantic relationships causing tremendous pain to lovers, spouses, children, and families. The idea that those closest to you should be the safest people in your life is lost on many.
Emotionally and physically unsafe behaviors are harmful to individuals, couples, families, teams, nations, and our world. It’s not acceptable or “normal” to shame employees, intimidate lovers, rage at children, name-call political opponents, or threaten anyone. #UncompromisingSafety is necessary for intimate relationships, healthy families, powerful teams, and culture-changing governments. When reactivity runs loose in a relationship in any system, it breaks trust, disintegrates loyalty, and plants seeds of resentment.
Normalizing harmful behavior is detrimental to everyone. Healthy relationships, teams, and systems cannot co-exist without uncompromising safety. And, the more intimate the system, the greater the emotional damage to the individual on the receiving end—no matter how many apologies follow the breach in safety.
Challenge: If you’re unhappy in your relationships, at work, or in the world, then pay attention to the concept of Uncompromising Safety and how it plays out in your life. Commit to being safe to others and holding others accountable for being safe to you. Refuse to normalize harmful behaviors from you or towards you, ever.