“Great relationships feel good for the soul and should add to your life, not stress it out.” ~Lisa Merlo-Booth
Regardless of how many gifts, cards, or flowers you get on Valentine’s Day, the actual test of love is how it makes you feel. Too many damaging messages cause a lot of confusion for people regarding love:
- “Love hurts.”
- “Love is a battlefield.”
- “Love is never having to say you’re sorry.”
These are all toxic messages that can leave many people normalizing bad relationships. Don’t fall into this trap.
Great relationships consist of a steady stream of kind acts, loving moments, mutual support, genuine warm regard, and mutual respect. They’re not perfect. There is a forever dance within them of mistakes, repair, forgiveness, and growth. And at the end of the day, it feels good to come home when true love is at the helm.
The bottom line is your emotional and physical safety should be an absolute given when it comes to close relationships and love. Total safety is a given in the best of times as much as it is in the most challenging times. Love should never be a “battlefield.” True love is the place you come home to for nurturance from the storm of life; it is not the storm. Don’t ever lose focus on what healthy love should truly feel like. Don’t be duped by cards and gifts if you’re left feeling sad, anxious, fearful, unsafe or like you’re not enough in your own home.
Challenge: Pay attention to how you feel, more times than not, in your closest relationships. If you don’t feel good in them, it’s time to re-examine your relationship. Get help, or walk away from the unhealthy ones so you can find the ones that feed your soul.