A couple weeks ago I posted part I of this post Self-Talk Part I , this is the follow up. If life doesn’t seem to be going your way, pay attention to your self-talk! In particular, avoid saying any of the statements below or you will only make things more difficult.
1. I don’t have it in me. Every time you tell yourself you don’t have it in you, it brings about a tremendous struggle to find the energy to do what you need to do. At any given time you have the choice to make things easier on yourself or harder—what you tell yourself greatly influences which path you will take. Don’t sabotage your success with your words.
2. I’m not worthy/deserving/good enough. You are the ONLY you on this planet—how could you possibly not grasp the enormity of how cool that is? Honor your uniqueness by honing in on the gifts only you can give the world. Find your voice, share your brilliance and make a positive mark in this world—we need your gifts.
3. I don’t have any choice. Of course you have choices—always. Even with a terminal illness you have choices—are you going to die bitter, with gratitude, with strength or (fill in the blank)? There are almost always choices. You may not like the options you first see in front of you, however there are always options. Step back and look at the situation with an open mind and be brave enough to make the hard choice when you know it’s the best choice to make.
4. Life is hard. Life is many things. Frequently telling yourself that it’s hard only makes it harder than it has to be. Life is also exciting, interesting, fun, confusing, mind-boggling, hilarious and on and on. Choose to focus on its gifts rather than its bumps.
5. Life and people are always trying to keep me down—it’s not fair. Life, universe, God or whatever force you’d like to speak of has much more important things to focus on than making your life miserable. If a particular person is truly trying to make your life difficult, let them go. Only surround yourself with people who are committed to cheering on your successes and supporting you in your struggles. Do the same for others and stop wasting energy thinking that others — or life — is out to get you.
Life is a constant dance of many different moments—some good, some bad, some joyful and some sad. In the hard times don’t make them more difficult by your self-talk.
Challenge: Notice how your language impacts your experience. Avoid the global, negative statements of doom and gloom and replace them with empowering ones—they make a difference!