“Normalizing hurtful interactions in your relationships sets up a weak foundation and unnecessary struggle: Raise the bar in all your relationships.” ~Lisa Merlo-Booth
Radically New Relationships™ are built on solid foundations of mutual respect, equality, kindness, and accountability. Sadly, far too many people normalize disrespect, swim in a sea of inequality, live with unkindness daily, and struggle with accountability on a grand scale. If the culture you’re swimming in—at work, home, or the world— is resting on a broken foundation, feeling good in it will be a struggle.
Change the interpersonal rules in your life. Refuse to take a one-down position to anyone, including your boss, uber-successful friend, arrogant or entitled co-worker, and especially not your spouse. Know that the person who makes more money at home is no more important than the one who doesn’t. Realize that while the owner of your company may have more influence or knowledge than you, s/he is not more inherently worthy than you.
Raise the bar on accountability and refuse to normalize, excuse, or justify defensiveness. Being defensive harms relationships. Every time you excuse, justify, or shrink in response to it, you are complicit in its growth. Similarly, accepting disrespect, meanness, or a lack of kindness, creates an atmosphere of disrespect, meanness, and unkindness. Stop normalizing aggression; One person’s struggles, upsets, or mistakes are not excuses for another person’s rage, reactivity, or disrespect. Raise the bar.
Stop normalizing harmful patterns at home, work, and in the world because of an old template you’ve been taught regarding humanity. The lie of inequality and normalization of aggression is harmful to those revered and those condemned; stop playing by these rules.
Challenge: It doesn’t matter if you believe yelling, name-calling, or aggression is “normal;” the bottom line is it’s not okay—even if everyone in the world is doing it. You deserve to be treated with respect and as an equal at all times; others deserve the same. Stand up for yourself when others cross the humanity line with you—step in when someone is harming others. And stop crossing this line yourself.