As we all know, sometimes we can be our own worst enemy. This is particularly true about the way we think and the way we talk to ourselves. If you want to make life a bit easier for yourself, pay attention to the way you speak—and change it.
Below are various statements we say to ourselves and to those around us that have a tendency to make life more difficult than it has to be. Take note when you hear any of these phrases coming out of your mouth and, as quickly as possible, change the message you are speaking.
1. I can’t. The moment you tell yourself you “can’t,” you have exponentially increased the odds that you won’t. Stop telling yourself all the things you can’t do and, instead, start problem-solving the “how.”
2. I hate myself. Telling yourself you hate yourself is abusive and a crazy notion you’re buying into. There may be things you don’t like about how you’re acting, the choices you’re making, the way you look or the way you’re showing up in the world, but don’t mistake those superficialities with a look into the soul of who you are. The heart and soul of who you are is amazing. Tune into that amazement and don’t for a moment tell yourself—or anyone, for that matter—that you hate you.
3. I’m (fill in the abusive label — dumb, fat, a loser, etc.). Again, calling yourself mean names is abusive. There is no excuse for abuse—toward yourself or toward others. Learn to speak kindly to yourself and know that we are all in a life-long process of growth. Work the areas you wish to grow in and don’t, for a moment, talk toxically to yourself.
4. Life sucks. Telling yourself that life is a miserable experience will make your life a miserable experience. The truth is that on any given day there are always moments of joy, awe, peace, love and gifts. Alter your lens and look for these life gifts—each and every one of them makes life a blessing and a gift.
5. I can’t go on. Even in your darkest hour, you can go on. Living is a choice. You have more internal strength than you can possibly imagine. Stop telling yourself you’re not strong enough and start tapping into your inner strength. It’s there—trust it.
Pay attention to the way you speak—it greatly influences how you live.
Challenge: Remove the negative, victimy, un-empowering chatter from your mind and your lips. Instead, talk to yourself in ways that motivate, rather than defeat, you.