“In every healthy relationship, it is your job to speak your mind, not the responsibility of others to read your mind.” ~Lisa Merlo-Booth
Do you get upset when your loved ones don’t do or say something that you believe they should? When your partner doesn’t notice you’re upset or give you a hug when you need one, do you get upset? Do you get angry because they don’t instinctively respond “correctly”?
Believing loved ones “should know” what to do to help you is a recipe for disappointment. It is not others’ job to read your mind; it is your job to speak it. There is way too much variability in people to expect them to guess what you consistently want or need. Some people like to be left alone when they’re upset, while others would like support. Men often don’t want to talk about upsets, while women often do. One culture may be loud and boisterous, whereas another is extremely quiet. All of these differences make knowing what someone wants, without them speaking it, difficult at best.
When you find yourself being upset about not getting something you didn’t ask for, slow down. Take the time to ask for what you want directly. And if loved ones give you what you ask for, be thankful they did, rather than annoyed that you had to ask.
Challenge: Speak your wants and needs directly to those you love. Don’t get angry at others for not knowing or attending to you in the way you’d like if you didn’t ask.