“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” ~ Albert Einstein
A basic, foundational principle for every couple trying to recover from the brink of divorce is: If your partner is leaving you because of your actions, don’t keep doing the actions they are upset about. For example, if your wife is on the verge of leaving you because of your anger and bullying, then the last thing you want to do to get her to stay is to blow up and bully her.
Remember Einstein’s definition of insanity? When what you’re doing isn’t working, change your moves. Don’t be insane.
Regardless of whether we’re talking about problems in your marriage, job, nation, or world, never try to solve a problem with the same actions that created the problem. Ever.
This basic principle is not rocket science. The truth is that going along to get along leads to resentment and distance in relationships. In order to have healthy relationships – including friendships – you have to be willing to be honest in them.
Speak your truth, give your honest opinions, and authentically share what’s truly going on inside you. Healthy relationships are honest relationships. They not only manage honest, difficult conversations, but they’re often also enhanced by them.
Challenge: Don’t fool yourself into thinking that the best decision is pretending that something is okay when it isn’t. Instead of pretending, have an honest conversation, share your authentic thoughts, and be courageous enough to respectfully disagree if that’s your truth.