“We can’t change our partner, however, we can change what we put up with from our partner.” ~ Lisa Merlo-Booth
I believe that we teach people every day how to treat us; we do this with our words, our actions and even our silence. If we choose to stay in a conversation while someone is belittling us, swearing or calling us names, we teach them that this behavior is okay. If we repeatedly ask our partner to pick up their clothes and then we pick them up for them, we teach them to ignore our requests. If we sleep with our partner when s/he repeatedly treats us disrespectfully and in a cold-hearted way, we teach our partner that we do not need to be treated well… we just need to be thrown a few crumbs now and then.
I believe we have more control over how we are treated than many of us realize. There are often many steps we can take to teach those around us to treat us well. We can set a limit, make a request, get outside help or leave the situation or relationship if necessary. We can’t change our partner, however, we can change what we put up with from our partner. The first place to look if your partner (or anyone else) is not treating you well is… at you. What is it that you are putting up with?
Challenge: Pay attention to how you are teaching others to treat you…and make sure it is the right lesson.