“You should be the safest person in your loved one’s lives; Period, end of story.” ~Lisa Merlo-Booth
The safest people in your life should be those who are closest to you. You should be the safest person in their lives as well. Far too many people are kinder and safer to strangers on the street than they are to loved ones in their homes; this is a problem.
Common messages that tell you that anger and rage are “normal” or that control and jealousy are signs that a person truly loves you are not only false, they’re also harmful. Your partner, parents, and best friends should always be your safe zones, and you should also be theirs. Too many people have lost their way when it comes to relationships. As a result, they’ve normalized anger, rage, and intimidation, numbed out to defensiveness and dismissiveness, and have over-accommodated to emotional abuse. Don’t normalize, numb out, or over-accommodate to harmful behaviors. When you cower, numb out or excuse destructive behaviors, you grow those behaviors.
Your loved ones should be the ones you can count on as a haven from the dangers and struggles in the world. They should never become the danger themselves. Be sure your loved ones treat you well, and you treat them well. Otherwise, they’re not your loved ones; they’re people you live with or with whom you have a long history. The reality is that loved ones treat you lovingly.
- Raise the bar on how you treat your loved ones and how they treat you.
- Stop excusing, rationalizing, or defending hurtful behaviors; there are no excuses.
- Love yourself and them enough to raise the bar on how you treat each other.
#RadicalNewRelationships require bold new moves and even bolder new thinking. #ChangeTheGame