Do you get offended, hurt, or feel attacked when others attempt to give you feedback?
Does it seem like when you give your partner, roommate, or *insert other person* feedback, they get easily annoyed, reactive, or angry?
It's Not Me, It's You:
Tackling Defensiveness 101
This 5-week program will help you gain insight into defensiveness and provide you with the tools to make a positive change in your relationships and life.
Let me give you an example you can probably relate with…
It’s late November and you walk out on the front porch. You notice the pumpkin your partner carved for Halloween is on the floor rotting and oozing. You ask them to throw it away. Their response?
“Well, excuse me. I’ll get right on it. I didn’t mean to ruin your damn day.”
Your heart sinks, or your blood boils, and you quickly realize you should have just kept quiet.
Does this ring a bell?
Or perhaps these comments from my blog resonate with you.
My husband is so defensive. I’ve tried everything I know to help him hear my feedback but nothing works. Am I doing something wrong?
I have a really hard time taking in feedback and know this is a problem but it’s terribly difficult for me to be accountable… It definitely interferes with my relationships and my life.
I am in a young relationship with someone I love very much. We do have our problems, I have trust issues and so does he. But he has used the defensive shield already to avoid things that have really hurt the relationship we have.
I was married to a man for almost 20 years that used the shield of defensiveness. Anytime I expressed any kind of unhappiness or hurt he would turn it around to make me feel like I was too sensitive and that it was my fault in the first place. After a few years of this I began to question my sanity and my perceptions of just about everything. That led to shutting down and trying not to feel anything. It’s a horrible way to live your life.
Are you the partner who’s grown accustomed to keeping quiet to avoid conflict?
Or, maybe you are the partner who can’t help but feel attacked and react defensively?
If any of the below sound familiar, then this course is for you:
- You find yourself walking around eggshells due to someone’s defensiveness.
- You know your partner will get defensive so your feedback has essentially become nonexistent in your relationship.
- You find it difficult to build relationships or succeed at work because you are unsure how to hold yourself accountable when others provide you with feedback.
- You feel the need to defend, explain, or present yourself in a good light when your friend, co-worker, lover, boss or (fill in the blank) gives you feedback.
- Your partner is constantly complaining about your defensiveness, it is a source of frequent turmoil, or things are so bad that s/he is ready to leave the relationship because of it.
It's Not Me, It's You: Tackling Defensiveness 101 will help you walk away with concrete skills to implement on a daily basis.
Over the span of 5 modules, we’ll dive into what defensiveness is, how it shows up in your relationships, what it’s costing you, and concrete steps to take to start tackling it.
You’ll learn how to recognize the traits of defensiveness (in yourself and others) and walk away with lifelong skills to help you manage it.
Throughout the course and beyond you will:
- Gain clarity on what defensiveness is and the many different ways it can show up
- Confidently assess what aspect is your work versus the work of others regarding defensiveness
- Recognize the cost and consequences of defensiveness
- Feel more confident in your ability to manage your defensiveness
- Have a clear template of what accountability looks, sounds and feels like
- Be better able to manage critical feedback without going into shame or defensiveness yourself
- Feel empowered to respond when others are defensive
It's Not Me, It's You: Tackling Defensiveness 101
Here’s the setup of the course:
- Every Friday during the course, you will receive a module to review prior to our Thursday call
- The following Thursday from 1:00 pm - 2:30 pm ET, we will have a 90-minute interactive workshop via Zoom which will include breakout groups, exercises, practices, and Q&A diving into the latest module.
- Each module includes a weekly workbook with notes, challenges, and journal prompts that you can implement to help you better understand defensiveness.
Bonus Course Goodies
- Defensiveness Assessments will be provided to help determine if defensiveness is a problem within you or others
- Faces of Defensiveness
- Grounded Powerful Thinking Table
- Taming Defensiveness Action Plan
Frequently Asked Questions
How will I receive the content?
Our live interactive workshops will be hosted on Zoom. Recordings and all other program trainings, worksheets and templates will be delivered digitally through a password-protected members-only site. As soon as you enroll, you’ll be emailed your login information with a username and password.
When are the live interactive workshops?
- Thursday, September 22 from 1:00-2:30 pm ET (Introductory Call)
- Thursday, September 29 from 1:00-2:30 pm ET (Discuss Module 1)
- Note: We will not meet on October 6
- Thursday, October 13 from 1:00-2:30 pm ET (Discuss Module 2)
- Thursday, October 20 from 1:00-2:30 pm ET (Discuss Module 3)
- Thursday, October 27 from 1:00-2:30 pm ET (Discuss Module 4)
- Thursday, November 3 from 1:00-2:30 pm ET (Discuss Module 5)
What if I cannot attend the calls live?
All six of our interactive workshops will be recorded and added to the member's area for you to watch or revisit within 24 hours of the live call.
When will the five modules be released?
- Module 1: Friday, September 23 at 1:00 pm ET
- Module 2: Friday, September 30 at 1:00 pm ET
- Note: There will not be a module released on October 7
- Module 3: Friday, October 14 at 1:00 pm ET
- Module 4: Friday, October 21 at 1:00 pm ET
- Module 5: Friday, October 28 at 1:00 pm ET
Are payment plans available?
Yes! You can choose a one-time payment today or the payment plan. The payment plan is two payments: one payment of 50% today and the second payment of 50% will be automatically charged 21 days later.
What if I want to attend with my partner?
You are very welcome to join as a couple. When enrolling two people, please use the coupon code COUPLE at checkout for a discount of 25% off.
When is the deadline to register?
The last day to register for this course is our start date, Thursday, September 22, 2022.
Do I have to be in a relationship to benefit from this course?
No, this course is for anyone who struggles with defensiveness in themselves or responding to defensiveness in others.
What if I want to cancel and get a refund?
Should you decide the program is not for you within the first 7 days, we will grant a refund to your credit card less any incurred payment processing fees.