Straight Talk Blog
Embrace Compassion and Connection this Holiday Season
Here is one of the first holiday tips that I wrote and wanted to reshare. I believe this message is even more important today than the day I first posted it back in 2017. May you have a very happy holiday season surrounded by many great human beings. “The greatest...
Give the Gift of Love and Grace This Holiday Season
"Often, the best gifts don’t cost a cent. Give the gift of love and grace this holiday season." ~Lisa Merlo-Booth The holiday season is a mixed blessing for so many. Whether you celebrate Chanukah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, (fill-in-the-blank), or nothing at all, this...
How Protecting Harmful Behavior Fuels the Cycle
"Your protection quickly becomes your complicity when what you protect is harmful; don't be complicit." ~LMB Ideally, protection aims to stop the harmful behavior done to an often weaker, more vulnerable "target." Hurtful behavior occurs when an offender uses words,...
Radically New Relationships: Communication Mastery
"Communication mastery can only happen when you focus on the process, not the content." ~LMB Often, when I stress to clients the importance of being calm, grounded, and respectful when speaking to one another, their knee-jerk response is some version of, "Omg, no one...
The Unavoidable Consequences of Treating Others Poorly
“You don’t get to treat others poorly without consequences for those choices. Even denial won’t save you from the consequences of your actions.” LMB We live in a world where more and more people think they can treat others however they want without any consequences....
The Hidden Dangers of Avoiding Conflict in Your Relationship
"Avoiding coming home is a critical sign that you need to fix what's going on at home." ~LMB Running from problems doesn't make them disappear; it creates greater upset and more significant problems. If you're working late at the office more, going out more with...
Change Is in the Minutia
"Change is in the minutia. When times are hard, focus on the baby steps." ~LMB In the hardest of times, we often forget the little things. When life feels overwhelming, remember to BREATHE. Breathe. Slow yourself down, tune in, and ground yourself. Take as many deep...
Creating Healthy Relationships: Why Emotional Safety Matters
"Healthy, connected relationships cannot happen without safety on every level." ~LMB Are you safe towards others? I mean: Are you REALLY safe to others? Are the people in your life tiptoeing around your anger? Is your spouse afraid to be honest about their feelings or...
Taking in Difficult Feedback With Accountability, Courage, and Compassion
"Shutting down or withdrawing in conflict is not the same as taking a healthy, much-needed time-out; one protects relationships while the other harms them." ~LMB Conflict, hurt feelings, upsets, and challenging conversations are vital aspects of healthy relationships,...
Avoiding Conflict Makes Intimacy and Connection Near Impossible
"Avoiding conflict makes intimacy and connection near impossible; Dare to have the hard conversations." ~LMB Few people get excited about conflicts. Disagreeing, arguing, or talking about your upset or someone else's upset is seldom comfortable. However, talking...
Transforming Your Relationships: From ‘Protecting Me’ to ‘Building We’
"Until you move from “protecting me” to “building we,” your relationships will struggle." ~LMB Relationship struggles are seldom about issues—even though couples swear that the “issue” is the problem: We have no connection and no sex. We differ in our parenting. We...
Use Your Words to Build Others Up, Not Tear Them Down
"Use your words to build others up, not tear them down." ~ LMB I believe that people underestimate the power of words every day. Whether it is a kind word shared with love or mean words thrown in anger, words have an impact. Kind words can soothe a person’s heart,...
You Should Be the Safest Person in the Lives of Your Loved Ones
"You should be the safest person in the lives of your loved ones; without exception." ~ LMB Anger is a significant problem in far too many relationships. Often, in these partnerships, one person is "hot" while the other tries to "manage the heat." Managing another...
How Do You Respond to Negative Feedback From Others?
"Explaining why you did what you did is a defensive response that creates distance, not repair." ~ Lisa Merlo-Booth Do you ever find yourself responding to someone’s upset about something you did by explaining why you did what you did? Explanations can sound like...
Take an Honest Inventory of Your Relationships
"People want to spend time with those who feel good to be around. Be a bright light, not a black cloud." ~Lisa Merlo-Booth When clients were making bad choices in their lives and experiencing negative consequences, my mentor would often say, "If you go out in the rain...