No matter how attractive, funny or charismatic your significant other maybe, if s/he has any of the five relationship accountability show-stoppers below, be warned that you are likely in for a very bumpy ride at best. 1. Defensiveness: Everyone gets defensive every now and then, however, some people get defensive anytime someone gives them feedback […]
1,000 Conversations and Still No Change?
Has it ever felt as if you have told your partner a thousand times to stop doing “x” or to start doing “y”? Does it seem as if you have endless conversations about the same issues again and again, yet nothing changes? If so, you’re in good company. Many people have the same conversations, about […]
Healthy Communication is Not a Monologue
When talking about healthy communication, a wise client once told me, after we had been working on communication for a while, “I have realized that I have three ways of responding. I ignore. I go along to get along, saying, ‘Sure, whatever.’ Or I react angrily. I can see I need to find more ways […]
Another Mass Shooting: It’s Complicated
There have been 256 mass shootings to date in 2019 alone. In just this past week, there were two mass shootings in two days: one in El Paso, Texas and one in Dayton, Ohio. Combined, there were a total of 29 people killed and dozens more wounded. What is happening? There is a debate going […]
The U.S. Women’s National Team Takes on The World
Hats off to the 2019 U.S. Women’s National Soccer Team for pulling off another amazing World Cup Championship! The hard work, intense dedication, powerful skills, outstanding teamwork, and tremendous coaching was inspiring to watch. Equally inspiring as the phenomenal field play was the internal strength and tenacity shown off the field by individual players and […]
Insecurity is Not an Aphrodisiac
Although I’ve known for a long time that insecurity can squash the romance in a relationship, this point was driven home to me with one of the couples I worked with several years ago. When I first started seeing this couple, the man had been treating his wife poorly for a couple years. He would […]
Stop the Excuses and Deal with the Behaviors
Do you ever find yourself excusing others for their poor behaviors? Have you heard yourself say things like: • That’s just who he is. He’s really quite harmless, even though he says hurtful things. • She’s just reactive. The kids and I know to not get into it with her or it will get too […]
Men and Repair: “I Screwed Up!!! Now What?”
I receive many e-mails and comments on my blog from men asking me what to do after they’ve really messed things up in their relationship. Most of these “screw ups” have been a series of behaviors over time that eventually burned out their marriages or long-term relationships. Some men had affairs, while others were dismissive, […]
International Women’s Day: We Thank You
To the mothers who gave birth to us, loved us, supported and guided us, we thank you. To the women who have raised us, mentored us, inspired us and challenged us, we thank you. To the women such as, Rosa Parks and Malala Yousafzai, who have stood up to the laws despite the cost, we […]
Expanding the Notion of Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day often has the reputation of being about romantic love. There’s a push to buy flowers, give chocolates, do something “romantic”, and “show your love”. All of the hype though, is not what Valentine’s Day is about. It’s not about the flowers or chocolate or the “wow” factor. It’s not about showing off your […]
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