“The best relationships rest on a rock-solid foundation of safety, allowing for fun, connection, growth, and love to flourish.” ~LMB
If you’ve ever looked around and thought, “Why didn’t anyone teach us how to do relationships well?” — you’re not alone.
There’s so much noise out there. Opinions, clichés, “rules,” and advice that often do more harm than good. After working with thousands of couples all over the world, I’ve realized there are a few truths I wish I’d known much earlier — lessons I wish my mom (or anyone!) had taught me.
Here are ten relationship truths that can forever change your relationship journey:
- Relationships can bring out the best in you—or fuel the worst. Surround yourself with those who help you rise.
- They can lead you down two very different paths: one that’s hot, fun, and “do what feels good,” or one of growth, connection, love, and inspiration. Choose the path of growth. The “fun and hot” path always ends—and often with unnecessary pain for you or others.
- They can leave you feeling better about yourself or worse. Choose those who lift you up.
- Most relationships feel great for the first one to three years. Don’t cling to one that struggles from the start. Wish them well, and be grateful you discovered early that this wasn’t the right one for you.
- The best relationships fuel you—not drain you. Take the time to find the ones that fill your cup.
- Relationships are fun, easy, and inspiring when you choose the right person for the right reasons. Love shouldn’t feel like constant work. Choose from confidence, not fear. From strength, not scarcity. You don’t have to chase or prove your worth to someone who’s truly right for you.
- Know and avoid your “relationship kryptonite.” This is the type of person you’re instantly drawn to but know deep down isn’t good for you (e.g., the player, the life of the party, the sexy cheerleader). They often bring chaos, pain, or betrayal. Learn to spot your kryptonite—and walk away.
- All relationships—even the best ones—go through waves. There will be good times and hard times, connection and disconnection. Staying the course, having honest conversations, and learning how to get back on track will save you from heartbreak.
- Conflict is inevitable—but abuse is not. Disagreements are healthy. Yelling, name-calling, and intimidation are not. Never normalize, justify, or excuse violence, rage, or abuse—yours or anyone else’s.
- Healthy relationships feel good to come home to. They’re a gift to be part of and bring out the best in both partners. Both give, receive, grow, and take accountability. It’s not perfect—but it’s nurturing and genuine.
Challenge: At its core, a healthy relationship has safety, equality, accountability, kindness, and reciprocity—even in conflict. Take the time to ensure your relationship brings out the best in both of you. It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself—and your partner.
