“Choosing wisely means valuing your future enough to walk away from what threatens it.” ~LMB
Choosing your life partner is one of the most critical decisions you will ever make. This choice has the potential to impact every day of your life going forward, the lives of any children you choose to have with this person, and the lives of your family’s future generations…
…Make this decision with your eyes wide open, your senses alert, your vision clear, and your courage grounded in strength.
Do NOT make this choice from a place of insecurity, desperation, a need to please, or a need to prove yourself. It requires that your eyes are wide open and your heart is discerning.
Having the courage and strength to listen to your instincts–rather than paying attention to, being fooled by, or falling for the “fluff” is not an easy task. It is, however, a task that will propel your future happiness forward in ways you can hardly imagine.
Pay attention to the signs. There are countless indicators regarding how someone will treat you, what life will be like with them, and what type of future you can build together—if you choose to notice. Signs of a great life partner include:
- They talk about past relationships, friendships, and jobs with respect, kindness, and humanity.
- They show up in hard times with others and yourself.
- You consistently feel uplifted in their presence—whether at home on the couch, out with friends, or celebrating a holiday with family.
- They respond to your upsets with calm, compassion, and accountability.
- They handle negative feedback from their family, employers, and strangers with this same pattern of accountability, compassion, and calm.
- They manage their emotions without resorting to anger, intimidation, or silence as a form of punishment.
- They honor your thoughts, opinions, feelings, and perspectives without attempting to control, shame, or dismiss you.
- You feel safe in their presence always: after a hard day, sharing your struggles, and even working through conflict.
- The relationship creates a sense of refuge from the everyday storms of life.
When it comes to choosing a life partner, the most crucial factor is how they treat you and others in the most difficult times. A great life partner leaves you feeling better about yourself, not worse. Their income, appearance, or level of success are insignificant factors compared to how they leave you feeling day in and day out.
Finding a truly great life partner requires you to tune into how they treat you—in good times and hardships, when they’re stressed or relaxed, and when others are watching or you are alone. Notice how they listen and respond to you. Notice how they talk about others in their absence–including their exes, or those who disagree with or have different beliefs from them.
Ultimately, observe their actions and ask yourself—Is this a good person? If the answer is no, spare yourself and any future children a world of pain, and walk away.
Challenge: Learn to recognize toxic red flags in your dating relationships and walk away quickly before they evolve into dynamite that blows up your marriage and family. All the money, fame, influence, “fun” and chemistry in the world cannot make up for the damage caused by harmful, unhealthy, or toxic relationships.
