Below is a post from my new blog http://lmerlobooth.typepad.com/straight_talk_4_women/Enjoy!
I just read an article by Andrea Lee about 8 things she tries to live by. It got me thinking about what my 8 things were. Here’s what I came up with. I challenge you to do the same…and please do share.
1. Practice what I preach: If I teach it, I better live it. Although I’m human and will continue to have my slips and imperfect moments, by and large, I do my best to follow my own advice when it comes to relationships.
2. Do no harm: It’s important to me that I do no harm to others and do not allow others to do harm to me. If I’m angry, I do my best to speak that anger from a centered, grounded place and respect the humanity of the person I’m speaking to. I hold others to that same expectation.
3. Be authentic: It’s important to me that people trust that I will give them honest feedback if they ask. I believe feedback is a gift when we are courageous enough to give it and receive it. I hold those in my inner circle accountable for giving me authentic feedback as well. Telling me what I want to hear is not helpful to me. Telling me what I need to hear—that’s helpful (even if it’s tough to hear it).
4. Laugh: I love a good sense of humor and try to incorporate that into my everyday life. I have no problem laughing at myself and enjoy being around people who can do the same (please laugh with me, however, not at me). I’d rather laugh than cry and love to be around people who can lighten things up without hurting others in the process.
5. I prefer to talk about myself rather than gossip about others: I don’t find gossip to be helpful to me or the people I’m talking about so I try my best to avoid it. When I slip, I feel yuck inside. When others slip, I try to re-direct the conversation to them or me and away from others.
6. Say it straight: If I’m upset about something, I will tell you directly. I don’t like having to guess why someone might be upset with me and don’t want others to have to do the same. I want to know what’s really going on with others and expect them to tell me and vice versa. I believe this level of honesty often deepens relationships rather than damaging them.
7. Be supportive: If someone in my life is unhappy about something (career, money, living situation), I believe it’s my job to hear them and do what I can to make things better. If I want to move for example, I would like my family to help explore that option with me rather than squash it. I want to make sure I do the same for them. Keeping my loved ones stuck in an unhappy situation is not helpful to them or me so I try to look for solutions, not roadblocks.
8. Live in integrity: To the best of my ability, I try to do the right thing in even the most difficult of moments. I believe that implicit in silence is acceptance and I do my best not to accept the unacceptable (in a respectful way). I believe in standing up, not backing down to the poor treatment of others or myself. The bystander phenomenon drives me crazy and I wish we could count on one another to help protect one another.
8 PLUS 1, because I can’t keep it to just 8…
9. Self-growth: I realize that the more work I do on myself, the more work I have to do. I’m committed to continually trying to become a better, wiser more self-actualized person/parent/partner/friend in my journey in life.
Challenge: Take some time to think about what your “8 things you try to live by” principles are and send them along. I’d love to hear some…plus it’s an interesting exercise in clarity. Good Luck!