“Don’t be fooled by words or the occasional good deed—even serial killers have kind moments.” ~LMB
Character is revealed in how a person treats, speaks to, and talks about those they dislike, struggle with, or have conflict with. True character shines through in the most challenging moments, not when things are easy. It’s simple to be kind to those who adore you; it’s much harder to stay respectful to those who don’t.
Whether you’re talking about a date, spouse, boss, or political candidate, pay attention to their actions with those they don’t like—not those they do. Listen to their words during stress, conflict, or upset to understand someone’s true character. Do they bad-mouth their ex? Is your boss kind to you but shames others at work? Is your friend supportive of you but hostile toward anyone who crosses them? Do your male friends speak of women in derogatory ways? Does your church friend talk about gays or non-believers with contempt while appearing “sweet” to you?
Kindness to those who like you is easy; don’t mistake that for true character. Real character shows up when times are hard, when people are hurt, or even when there is hate. Pay attention to how your spouse, friend, or political candidate talks about those who hurt, disagree with or hold different beliefs. How they speak of others who fall out of their favor is how they will talk about and treat you should you ever do the same.
Challenge: Don’t be fooled by words or occasional good deeds—anyone can have a kind moment. Focus on what surfaces in times of hardship, disagreement, and conflict. That’s where true character is revealed.
