“Healthy relationships provide comfort and respite from life’s inevitable storms; Be the respite, not the storm.” ~LMB
The closest relationships in your life should be those where you consistently feel emotionally, energetically, and physically safe—no matter what. These relationships serve as a safe space for you to rest your head and your heart. There should be no fear of retaliation, aggression, contempt, or any negative response because of something you said, how you feel, or what you think. In these relationships, it feels good to come home; they are your safe havens.
Creating healthy relationships requires the courage, strength, and determination to stop listening to broken relationship records in your head and the world around you.
Currently, our society is doubling down on an antiquated relationship paradigm that teaches “men to be men” and “women to be women.” These teachings leave men emotionally shut down and angry while leaving women resentful, lonely, and hopeless, ultimately to the detriment of all of us. Asking men to be more “masculine” and women to be more “feminine” is one of the biggest shams of our time. It sets up an epic failure for all of humanity—regardless of one’s identified gender.
Demanding that men embody traditional “masculinity” and women adhere to conventional “femininity” robs everyone of genuine love and connection. The number of men I work with daily who want to feel connected to their wives yet have no idea how to achieve that is staggering. Equally staggering is the number of wives resentful at their husbands’ outbursts, lack of emotional connection, and lack of accountability for their actions. Many wives are also angry at themselves for walking on eggshells and making themselves small to manage their husbands’ egos, moods, and behavior.
Rather than striving to recreate this antiquated, patriarchal paradigm, people of all gender identities should be furious at the damage this paradigm has caused to themselves, their families, and their marriages. Stand up to this harmful paradigm; don’t succumb to it.
Challenge: If your relationship doesn’t feel good to come home to, ask yourself if you or your partner are running on an old relationship paradigm that is robbing you of the healthy relationship you deserve.
