Note: I have been fortunate to have two high school seniors interning with me for two weeks. This week’s blog post is the work of one of these interns. Enjoy!
Guest Post by Rylee Booth
Knowing which people in your life are toxic and when to remove them from your life is very difficult — especially during your teenage years, when everyone is trying to find themselves and trying to fit in. Deciding which relationships to continue and which to leave behind can be hard to figure out. All relationships ought to help you grow and become a better version of yourself. New relationships are always fun and exciting, but must be handled with caution. The most important thing to remember, ESPECIALLY as a teenager, is to have your back. Know your worth and what you deserve, and don’t accept anything less.
If your friends or romantic interest constantly pull you down with their words (even if they say they’re joking) or get upset when you’re doing better than they are in a class, or constantly joke about your insecurities, regardless of how many times you tell them to stop, these are unhealthy relationships. Friends are the ones who support you in your struggle and enjoy life with you when you’re doing well. Remember, all relationships are give AND take. If you notice you are repeatedly starting conversations, inviting your friends to places, supporting them, etc. without them reciprocating the effort, it might be time to reevaluate those friendships. Ask yourself whether or not it is healthy for you to continue to be friends with those people. The same goes for romantic relationships. If you’re the one always asking to hang out, calling, FaceTiming, texting, etc., it’s important for you to take a step back and look at the dynamics of your relationship. Always being the initiator can get tiring and doesn’t bring you the healthy and balanced relationship you deserve.
Chasing someone in hopes they will love you back minimizes your worth and lets others know you will do anything to get someone to love you. Knowing yourself as you enter into a relationship, or possible relationship, is crucial. Choose the person who treats you as you deserve to be treated rather than entering a relationship just because you want to be in one.
Insecurity can be detrimental to a relationship because, if you can’t love yourself enough to know what you deserve, how can you expect someone else to love you? The most important thing to remember is: What you think of yourself is much more important than what people think of you. While it may not seem true, your thoughts and feelings about yourself are much more important than others’ because you are the only person you have to live with for the rest of your life. You’ll be spending every minute of every day with yourself, so it’s your opinion that matters most.
CHALLENGE: Take a look at the relationships in your life and evaluate whether or not they’re healthy. If you see unhealthy relationships, move on! Let those people know they are unhealthy for you and if they don’t want to fix it, you’re better off without them.