“The truest form of love is how you behave toward someone, not how you feel about them.” – Steve Hall
When it comes to healthy relationships, there are those who are willing to ‘play’ and those who are not. “Play” means willing to do what is necessary for both of you to be happy (i.e.: learn, grow, and be accountable). Being in a relationship with someone who is willing to ‘play’ brings a sense of ease to a relationship that isn’t present with others.
People who are willing to play:
- Are open to growth change and co-creating happiness with you.
- Are receptive to hearing, learning, and trying on new ways of being.
- Leave you feeling good about you when you’re around them.
When people are willing to play, they care what you have to say. They are humble enough to realize that their way is just one way, not the only way. They care how their actions impact you—and—take accountability for them. Everything from conversations to reciprocity, kindness, and respect flows two ways with ‘players.’
In contrast, relationships are a daily grind when you’re with someone who isn’t willing, wanting, or open to, ‘playing.’ These individuals are the ones who inspired the creation of the message, “Relationships are hard.” Non-‘players’:
- Are adamant that you accept them as they are.
- See things one way—their way.
- Are locked in old patterns and not willing to change them for anyone.
- React with anger when you or others try to hold them accountable.
- Dismiss your feelings of being disrespected, harmed, or upset.
- Deny you grace or compassion for your mistakes, yet demand it for their own.
- Far too often, leave you feeling bad about yourself, the relationship, your future, or all of the above.
- Struggle with accountability and constructively working through conflict.
Relationships often take time and attention. However, they should not be an ongoing battle for respect, a never-ending feeling of angst, a struggle to be heard, or an over-arching steady stream of “hard.”
Challenge: Take the time to determine if those around you are genuinely willing to ‘play’ or not. If people in your life are unwilling ‘to play,’ then realize that the relationship will be forever challenging. Ask yourself if you need the courage to walk away rather than the fortitude to hang on.
