“Ignoring the pink elephant in the living room does not make it go away.” ~LMB
Pretending your spouse doesn’t have a drinking problem does not mean they don’t have a drinking problem. Looking away from your lover’s computer so you don’t see their secret chat room discussions doesn’t mean those chats aren’t happening. Walking away when your mother berates and shames your father one more time, doesn’t make the shaming go away for your father. Nor does it stop your mother’s out-of-control reactivity. Pretending you don’t see the elephant in front of your eyes or acting as though the elephant is not your problem does not mean the elephant’s not there or that it’s not your problem.
Pretending that we don’t see what we see, doesn’t fool anyone into believing that we truly don’t see it. It only gives us a phony excuse for not doing anything about the harmful things right in front of us. And no matter how much we pretend to not see, we always know the truth. There’s that nagging little voice that chirps away at us telling us—pleading with us–to open our eyes and stop pretending. Until we dare to see what we see and address the big pink elephant in the living room, we will not be able to be at peace. Our wisest selves will always know that we’re selling ourselves or our loved ones out. Few things are worth that kind of betrayal.
Challenge: Take off the blinders and dare to see what’s right in front of you. Stop playing the game of pretend. If you see something, say something. If you’re worried about something, speak to it. And if others are out of line in front of you—respectfully call them out.