“Avoiding conflict makes intimacy and connection near impossible; Dare to have the hard conversations.” ~LMB
Few people get excited about conflicts. Disagreeing, arguing, or talking about your upset or someone else’s upset is seldom comfortable. However, talking through difficult issues with grace, compassion, and humility is necessary for mutually fulfilling relationships. Sadly, few people have the skills, courage, or knowledge to manage conflict and upset and build connections.
If you’re avoiding conflict like the plague, you are also sabotaging intimacy. When you think about your relationships, ask yourself how close or distant you feel within that particular relationship. Next, notice how you (or others in your life) handle feedback, conflict, and upsets. If you (or they) avoid, blow up, shut down, or negatively react in some way to disputes and upsets, then there’s a good chance that you’re not feeling very connected. If, on the other hand, you handle conflict respectfully and directly and have a partner or friend (fill in the blank) who does the same, chances are that relationship feels more connected.
Connection and intimacy are vital to having honest conversations in compassionate, respectful ways. If you’re not feeling connected, chances are you or those you’re in relationships with are not compassionately having open conversations in healthy ways. Decide whether you want “peace at all costs” or intimacy/connection; you can’t have both.
Challenge: Take an inventory of your relationships and ask yourself how connected and honest you feel. Adjust your actions accordingly.
To learn more about working through conflict and upsets in ways that are connecting, Click here to sign up for this free call.
