Great relationships have an ease about them; a steady dance of support, upset, repair, sprinkled with reciprocity, compassion, and accountability—Master the “ease.” ~Lisa Merlo-Booth
Relationships do not have to be difficult, love doesn’t need to hurt, and marriage should not be a battlefield. However, countless songs will tell you differently, as will many people—including professionals. This idea that love is hard, though, is a setup. People believe that it’s normal to have daily tension, big blow-ups, and frequent angst or upset in your relationship. “That’s passion!” some will say. “Fighting is healthy—it means you still care.”, others will say. The fact that you should have far more good days than bad, though, seldom is stated.
Here’s the thing when it comes to relationships: relationships should leave you feeling better in them than they do away from them. If your relationship leaves you feeling lonely, fearful, unhappy, or bad about yourself, something’s wrong. Although all relationships will have challenging moments, they are only moments. There should not be a constant, low hum of discontent and certainly not a loud, constant grumbling of upset, tension, and dissatisfaction.
Radically New Relationships™ have an ease about them. Subsequently, living in them is easy, and being a part of them is fueling, not grueling. Each partner cares about the other’s experience—in and outside the relationship. They are both quick to be accountable and repair any hurts or mistakes. Both partners give support as much as they receive it—and they appreciate the reciprocity. Feedback is seen as a gift, not an attack or an invitation to fight, and therefore personal growth is an inherent aspect of the relationship.
Radically New Relationships™ are the future. No longer is marriage a necessary business transaction. Women are making their own living and no longer need to be “provided for.” And men no longer need to feel the weight of being “the provider.” Women don’t need to be sexy, in a relationship, skinny, or “nice” to be worthy. Men don’t need to be players, disconnected, and aggressive to be “real men.” Let go of the old scripts about what it means to: be a male, female, husband, wife, or have a great relationship. Stop playing by old rules expecting new results: Go radical and change the game in your life and relationships.
Challenge: Don’t settle for the old template for relationships. Create a relationship that honors both of you, feels great to come home to, and feels great to be a part of way more times than not.