“Buying into the message that “Relationships are hard” is a setup for normalizing destructive relationships; don’t buy in. When you know how to maneuver through the storms, relationships can be Smooth Sailing.” ~ LMB
Every relationship has conflicts, disagreements, and upsets that you must manage, work through, and repair. Whether you’re talking about parenting, dating, marriage, work, or even friendships—there is no “perfect.” Consequently, many lay people and experts alike will tell you that “relationships are hard.” Sadly, this belief may leave you normalizing harmful blow-ups, cheating spouses, and even what some experts call “normal marital hatred.”
Buying into these messages that “normal” relationships are stormy and turbulent, leaves you more tolerant of rough seas, frigid temperatures, and unhealthy waters. When your tolerance is high for frequent storms, you learn to batten down the hatches, blow up the other person’s hatches, or train yourself to avoid the storms altogether and not even get near the boat. What you’re less likely to do, is learn to maneuver your boat to calmer waters and get to smoother sailing as quickly as possible.
When you know how to sail, relationships do not have to be hard.
Even when storms are on the horizon—relationships do not have to be hard. When you trust that if the waters get rough, you have all the safety equipment you need to return to calmer waters, relationships are Smooth Sailing. The idea that you have to “batten down the hatches” and brace yourself for the storm doesn’t even enter your mind—because—you know how to sail. You trust that if you or your partner gets thrown from the boat, it will only be for a moment because you both have life jackets and know how to float.
When you learn how to navigate in all kinds of weather, it’s life-changing. Consequently, your relationships become more manageable, less turbulent, and more connected. Your fear of losing the connection, stirring the waters, or capsizing your boat dissipates. And when you’re in a relationship with people who also know how to navigate the waters—at work, home, or in the world—well, that’s a game-changer for everyone involved.
Challenge: Tune into all the ways you buy into the notion that relationships are hard and how that impacts how you show up or don’t. Ask yourself what you need to navigate your relationships into calmer waters and Smooth Sailing.
NOTE: Check out my Inner Circle membership to start your journey to smoother sailing in your relationships!
