What every employee needs to know and do
Have you ever had a boss who managed through intimidation, anger, and volatility? The kind of boss who had zero control of their emotions. Every time you or an employee made a mistake, the boss would blast you with a new tirade –– calling you incompetent, question your thinking, or spewing some particularly brutal comment that made everyone bristle: Everyone, except the boss.
If you’ve ever been on the other side of a toxic boss, then you are not alone. In fact:
- More than 48 million Americans, have been bullied at work
- 65% of those who bully workers are supervisors or managers––in other words: Bosses. (https://www.business.com/articles/the-cold-hard-facts-about-workplace-bullying-and-how-to-handle-it/)
If you are currently working for a boss who yells, calls names, shames others, rages, or treats their employees with disrespect, then there are several very important things you need to know:
- Their rage and toxic behavior is NOT about you. Ever. Even when you made a mistake, their volatility has nothing to do with your mistake.
- The volatility and emotional abuse of your boss is about their inability to control their emotions –– not your job performance. Their emotional reactivity could be a character issue, personality issue, or mental health issue. It is NOT your performance.
- Yelling, name-calling, raging or shaming an employee –– or anyone, for that matter –– is emotional abuse. There is never an excuse for abuse.
- Bosses who bully, go on tirades, or use shame as a “leadership” tactic, seldom change unless the company takes a hard stand and they risk losing their jobs. Sadly, most companies, owners, and CEOs don’t take those actions –– only 27% of bullies face any negative consequences.
- The moment you realize you’re working for a toxic boss, it is in your long-term best interest to start looking for a new job. When you find one, inform HR of your boss’s behavior. When no one reports these so-called leaders, they believe their actions are acceptable –– and they go on to abuse countless employees over the entirety of their careers. Only 12% of bullying victims report the behavior to a supervisor, with 37% staying silent out of fear of retaliation and 28% believing nothing will be done. ZipDo
The emotional toll a toxic boss takes on your emotional is enormous –– and it compounds daily. The sooner you recognize that the issue is your boss –– not you –– the better equipped you will be to protect yourself long-term.
You spend a significant portion of your life at work. That time should add to your life not strip pieces away. A toxic boss comes with a toxic culture. Do not stay in a place that doesn’t prioritize the health of its employees. If your workplace is toxic, start looking for a healthier one while you still have the job.
Challenge: Moving forward, in every area of your life, recognize that whenever you are on the receiving end of someone’s verbal abuse or bullying, that behavior is NOT about you. Don’t make it about you. Don’t for a moment think it was something you did. Don’t retaliate with verbal abuse of your own. And ask yourself what you need to do to get out of this situation –– no matter how long it takes.
