I have watched many unhealthy relationship decisions be made out of fear. The fear of being alone has kept people in hurtful relationships for way too long; the fear of getting too close has kept people alone unnecessarily; the fear of conflict has silenced people’s voices when speaking was tantamount; the fear of being wrong or hurting someone’s feelings has resulted in people ignoring their intuition…intuition that could have saved their life; the fear of success/failure has sabotaged many a person’s future.
Fear is a part of life and most people, if not all, feel fear. The difference between those who succeed in their relationships (and life) and those who don’t, is those who succeed don’t allow their fear to stop them; they feel the fear and do it anyway. They know that fear is a normal, healthy part of life and they respect it and don’t allow it to determine their fate. Those who do not succeed, allow fear to paralyze them. They feel the fear and they get stuck in it, refusing to make a move. They then find themselves in unhealthy relationships they are miserable in, yet too scared to change or get out of.
Allowing fear to determine your decisions will almost always result in the wrong choice. Don’t let fear decide your fate; the fate of fear is not the fate you want.
Challenge: Look at what role fear plays in your relationships. If you silence yourself out of fear of conflict – feel the fear and speak up anyway. If you are staying in a relationship out of fear of being alone – it is not enough – change your relationship, get help or learn to handle being alone.
Commit to not allowing fear make unhealthy life decisions for you and live by the saying “Feel the fear and do it any way.”