Father’s Day: What A Great Dad Does

Over the years I’ve met, worked with and seen all kinds of dads.  Some dads were great and some left a lot to be desired in the fathering department.  I’ve also seen the effects of great versus not-so-great dads on their young children as well on as their adult children.

This post is to all the great dads out there who are changing lives, family legacies and, if I may be so bold,—our world.  I have nothing but enormous gratitude for men who dare to be in the world differently from many men and fathers of old.  Hats off to your courage to say no to tradition, your willingness to be more than just a provider and your determination to make your children a priority in your words and actions.

What a great dad does:
1.    A great father plays with his children, listens to his children and laughs with his children.  He builds them up rather than tears them down.  He tries to pull out the greatness in them instead of squashing them by highlighting their human flaws.  When he makes these efforts imperfectly, he has the strength and courage to apologize and repair.
2.    A great dad shows his children in his words and actions that they are important to him and to this world.  He gives them his undivided attention when they need it, affection when they could use it and love day in and day out.
3.    A great dad is responsible out in the world, at home and with his children.  He neither works endlessly nor skirts his responsibilities.  He leads by example and doesn’t ask anymore from his family than he does of himself.

4.     A great father models for his children how he wishes them to be.  He is a man of integrity and practices what he preaches.  He’s a team player who’s respectful and cherishing to his wife, loving toward his children and is the same person in the home as he is outside the home.
5.    A great father does not exert power-over; he has control of his anger.  He does not parent through fear or with an iron fist.  He teaches when guidance is needed and sets limits when they are warranted.  His interest is in guiding his child’s spirit, not breaking it.
6.    A great father picks his children up when they fall, is gentle with their tears and gives them extra nurturance when they’re sick.  He doesn’t feel the need to squash his son’s tears because they’re not “manly,” but instead steps in and helps his son through the pain.  He encourages his daughter to be all she can be and not let the world hold her back because she’s female.  He is his children’s biggest fan, greatest support and life anchor.

When a man is a great father he helps to create amazing building blocks for healthy relationships in his children.  When dads are encouraging, present, loving and cherishing to their wives and daughters, they create a wonderful template for loving relationships within their daughters.  Simultaneously, they teach their sons how to be loving partners so they can have successful relationships when they get older as well.  Fathers have the ability to set in motion a ripple effect of relationship change throughout their entire families, for not only this generation, but for many generations to come, when they step up and step into their role in a loving, respectful way.

I thank all you fathers who have dared to start this ripple.  I thank my husband for being one of these great dads.

CHALLENGE: For all those fathers who were never taught, have yet to see or have no idea how to be a great dad, I encourage you to choose one thing from the list above and step out of your comfort zone and work it.  Read books, talk to professionals or talk with other men who are acting like great dads and start learning how to do it.

Where to start:  It starts with being present.  Tune in and stop tuning out.