It seems to me there has been a huge increase in the prevalence of sex addiction of late. The Internet has opened doors to some amazing things and some potentially damaging things. One of the most damaging I have seen is Internet porn.

I have worked with many couples where Internet porn has become a big issue in their relationship. More people are turning to the Internet to numb out. The Internet has made it easy to view porn in the privacy of your own home. No longer do people have to go into the local store to buy a magazine or into the video store to buy an x-rated movie. All you need is a computer and Internet access and you’re good to go. You can choose any fetish of your choosing and can easily view it in private.

So what’s the big deal? It’s not like you are actively having an affair is it? Okay let me answer that…the big deal is pornography is breaking up relationships. It’s that simple. And before you ask—no I am not a Christian Fundamentalist or a Feminist or anything else. I am simply sharing what I have witnessed in many couples.

I have seen couples stop having sex with each other for years only to find out one partner is getting his/her needs met via the Internet. People are zoning out to life and are using Internet porn to help them. It’s sex without strings, only even more detached. Pornography is the ultimate in objectification and it is taking people out of their relationships. Teens are into “friends with benefits” while grown ups are into sex without relationships; both are killing the intimacy in our culture.

If your partner is often on the computer checking out porn, talk to him/her about it. If there has been a shift in your sex life, emotional closeness or overall intimacy, then speak as honestly to your partner about what you are noticing as possible. Turning to the Internet for pornography again and again is the same as having several drinks every night. They both are an escape and keep you out of your relationship.

If you or your partner has tried to stop looking at the Internet or the internet has lead either of you into additional sexual behaviors (i.e. phone sex, chat rooms, affairs, prostitutes etc.), then it may be time to see if you have a problem. Go to www.slaafws.org for more information.

Challenge: If you are concerned that your partner is always on the Internet, find out why. If you need to know more information about sex addiction go to the website www.slaafws.org or www.coslaa.org (for partners of sex addicts).