Apr 29, 2006
A common thing I see in couples is one partner minimizing or dismissing the change their partner makes. It’s quite an interesting phenomenon. For example a woman will complain about how emotionally unavailable her partner is and be clear that if he doesn’t change she...
Apr 14, 2006
Below is a quick tool for communicating in a clean, respectful way: the feedback wheel. This tool has been around in various forms for many years. The form I use is adapted from Pia Mellody and Terrence Real. Note: I add one step to their feedback wheel: Open with a...
Mar 31, 2006
Below are a few tips I have incorporated into my own relationships (Stay tuned for more in the future). These tips have served me well; I’m hopeful they will serve you well also. Tip 1: If you are finding it difficult to give honest feedback to someone when they ask,...
Mar 24, 2006
Rage from a parent destroys a child’s soul. It infuses children with shame, fear, depression, and often more rage. Children raised in homes where anger is out of control, learn that love hurts. This sets them up for a lifetime of relationship struggles, much...
Mar 15, 2006
My first question is what is he doing on the Internet? Is he doing work, looking at pornography, in chat rooms, playing video games, IM’ing someone or …? What’s keeping his attention? It is becoming more and more common for people to come home from work, say hello and...
Mar 13, 2006
Negotiating differences requires that we come from a why position rather than a what position. When we focus on what we want rather than why we want it, we are stuck with only two solutions, yours and mine. If we choose either of these, one of us wins and one of us...
