This past week I’ve been preparing for a speech I’m giving for Zonta International regarding conflict in the workplace. Not surprisingly, this preparation has led me to think quite a bit about work environments. In particular, I’ve been thinking about all the mean things co-workers are saying/doing and how much these behaviors are costing companies, families, communities and ultimately our world.
If you happen to be a person who is making snide comments, spreading rumors, sabotaging fellow employees or being mean spirited, then you might want to look at what’s making you feel so insecure that you need to tear others down…and yourself down in the process.
Below are rules of engagement for the workplace—follow them and hold others accountable for following them as well:
1. Build co-workers up don’t tear them down. When you tear down a colleague you harm your work environment; this leads to less productivity and financial loss. In this economy, a reduction in productivity is the first step towards lay-offs –yours and your colleague’s.
2. Be inclusive not exclusive. If you’re having a team lunch—invite the team don’t exclude those less popular; you’re no longer in Junior High so make sure you’re not acting like you are.
3. If you don’t have anything nice to say about a person…don’t say anything at all. There is no reason to gossip about how someone dresses, looks, spends his/her time etc. Pay attention to you and stop trying to get others to hate or make fun of them. If you feel the need to bad mouth someone, look at what you’re jealous of, afraid of or threatened by; this is your issue not theirs.
4. Don’t throw others under the bus. If a project went awry, figure out how you contributed to that problem and don’t try to push the blame on someone else. If it was indeed a real problem in the system then speak to that problem from a place of respect and learning not defensiveness and cattiness. We all make mistakes; don’t rub someone’s nose in theirs unless you want others to do the same to you.
5. Model a calm, powerful strength. There is never a reason to be raging or yelling in your place of business—period. When you rage at work you create a toxic environment of disrespect and bullying which will absolutely hurt the bottom line. This type of behavior wears down the loyalty of the employees and leads to backstabbing, resentment and anger. Stop the rage–yours and theirs.
6. Stop the snide comments. Almost every office has that one person who is constantly putting others down, making snide comments about other’s ideas or telling tasteless jokes. Do yourself and everyone around you a favor and stop finding humor by putting others down; it’s not funny. If you want to joke around, great, but don’t do it at another’s expense. Be funny-not hurtful.
Being relational at work is no different than being relational anywhere else in your life. Be the co-worker you wish you worked with. Be thoughtful, considerate and respectful…and demand the same from others. If a co-worker is being hurtful, don’t roll your eyes, chuckle with them or ignore it. Step in and do your part to make your work environment a great place for people to work. The happier people are at work, the more productive they can be. Obviously, higher productivity yields greater income, which in turn, protects you and your company from lay offs, pay cuts and down sizing. Step up and take the petty, meanness out of your life and your career.
Challenge: Look over the list above and see if you fall into any of those traps. If you do, clean up your side and take note of how that shift feels. It feels good to be a grown-up—try it. If you don’t struggle with these, however, have co-workers who do, then step up and don’t allow mean people to control the environment.