Feb 1, 2006
My last blog entry talked about the importance of not bringing up past behaviors and learning to let it go. What if, however the behavior hasn’t stopped? What if that one behavior, yelling for example, happened two years ago, one year ago and continues to happen...
Jan 23, 2006
John Gottman has done extensive research on couples and found that couples who stay together have more positive interactions overall than couples who divorce. When they speak to each other, they do so respectfully and without contempt. They listen as though they care...
Jan 20, 2006
My long time mentor, Terry Real, was speaking about world violence one day and stated that over 90% of the violence in the world, he believes, is the result of someone “offending from the victim position”. Offending from the victim position is when a person acts on...
Jan 18, 2006
I have watched the dynamic of men bullying and women silencing play out again and again, over the years. The men have learned to master the “effective” use of anger, intimidation and fear and the women have learned that it is not worth taking on the man’s wrath…that...
Jan 6, 2006
Listening is a pivotal skill in relationships. When we do it well, it can create a soul-nourishing moment; when we do it poorly, it can wreak havoc. The reason it is so pivotal is because human beings like to be heard. We believe we have something important to say and...
Jan 4, 2006
A common complaint I hear from couples is they feel distant. Overall, things are okay, no fights, no big issues, no major upsets – just a void. They report feeling more like roommates than lovers. Subsequently, they question their relationship saying although they...
