Below is a post from my new blog http://lmerlobooth.typepad.com/straight_talk_4_women/ Enjoy!
I recently gave a speech for Zonta International entitled “Conflict in the Workplace: How to Survive It, Manage It and Make It Work for You.” Not surprisingly, this preparation has led me to think quite a bit about work environments. In particular, I’ve been thinking about all the mean things some co-workers are saying/doing and how much these people are costing companies, families, communities and, ultimately, our world.
If you happen to be a person who is making snide comments, spreading rumors, sabotaging fellow employees or being mean-spirited, you might want to look at what’s making you feel so insecure that you need to tear others down…and yourself down in the process.
Below are rules of engagement for the workplace—follow them and hold others accountable for following them as well. We had enough mean girls in high school, we do not need to deal with one – or become a mean girl — at work, too.
1. Build co-workers up; don’t tear them down. When you tear down a colleague you harm your work environment, which leads to less productivity and financial loss for your employer. In this economy, a reduction in productivity is the first step toward lay-offs — yours and your colleagues’.
2. Be inclusive, not exclusive. If you’re having a team lunch—invite the team. Don’t exclude those less popular. You’re no longer in Junior High, so make sure you’re not acting as if you are. Remember, it’s always nice to feel that you’re on the inside and it feels terrible to be on the outside.
3. If you don’t have anything nice to say about a person…don’t say anything at all. There is no reason to gossip about how someone dresses, looks, spends her time, etc. Pay attention to you and stop trying to get others to hate her—whoever she may be. If you feel the need to bad mouth someone, look at what you’re jealous of, afraid of or threatened by. This is your issue, not hers.
4. Be a team player. You should have faith enough in your abilities without having to sabotage or be jealous of the abilities of others. There truly is nothing better in the work world than knowing you are on a strong, unified team at work. Try partnering and collaborating rather than isolating yourself or others.
5. Refuse to gossip; it doesn’t serve you. People know that if you gossip with them, you will also gossip about them. Gossiping leads to mistrust of you. Refuse to gossip with anyone or about anyone. If others are gossiping, creatively change the subject. Boldly say you’d rather not talk about this topic or excuse yourself from the conversation. In the long run, you’ll feel better for it and others will see you in a new light.
In my experience, when women are insecure, they play out that insecurity by trying to put other women/people down. This doesn’t serve women or others. Pay attention to how you act in the work place and start to become the co-worker you wish you worked with. Act with integrity in the workplace and notice the shift that occurs within you and with others around you. There is no place for cattiness, gossiping or mean-spiritedness at work or in the world. Do your part to stop it.
CHALLENGE: Pay attention to how you talk at work. Refuse to put others down, demean anyone or try to paint yourself as better than someone else. Own your skills, mentor others to enhance theirs and do your part to make your work environment a great place for everyone.