Below is a post from my new blog http://lmerlobooth.typepad.com/straight_talk_4_women/Enjoy!
I just read an article by Andrea Lee about 8 things she tries to live by. It got me thinking about what my 8 things were. Here’s what I came up with. I challenge you to do the same…and please do share.
1. Practice what I preach: If I teach it, I better live it. Although I’m human and will continue to have my slips and imperfect moments, by and large, I do my best to follow my own advice when it comes to relationships.
2. Do no harm: It’s important to me that I do no harm to others and do not allow others to do harm to me. If I’m angry, I do my best to speak that anger from a centered, grounded place and respect the humanity of the person I’m speaking to. I hold others to that same expectation.
3. Be authentic: It’s important to me that people trust that I will give them honest feedback if they ask. I believe feedback is a gift when we are courageous enough to give it and receive it. I hold those in my inner circle accountable for giving me authentic feedback as well. Telling me what I want to hear is not helpful to me. Telling me what I need to hear—that’s helpful (even if it’s tough to hear it).
4. Laugh: I love a good sense of humor and try to incorporate that into my everyday life. I have no problem laughing at myself and enjoy being around people who can do the same (please laugh with me, however, not at me). I’d rather laugh than cry and love to be around people who can lighten things up without hurting others in the process.
5. I prefer to talk about myself rather than gossip about others: I don’t find gossip to be helpful to me or the people I’m talking about so I try my best to avoid it. When I slip, I feel yuck inside. When others slip, I try to re-direct the conversation to them or me and away from others.
6. Say it straight: If I’m upset about something, I will tell you directly. I don’t like having to guess why someone might be upset with me and don’t want others to have to do the same. I want to know what’s really going on with others and expect them to tell me and vice versa. I believe this level of honesty often deepens relationships rather than damaging them.
7. Be supportive: If someone in my life is unhappy about something (career, money, living situation), I believe it’s my job to hear them and do what I can to make things better. If I want to move for example, I would like my family to help explore that option with me rather than squash it. I want to make sure I do the same for them. Keeping my loved ones stuck in an unhappy situation is not helpful to them or me so I try to look for solutions, not roadblocks.
8. Live in integrity: To the best of my ability, I try to do the right thing in even the most difficult of moments. I believe that implicit in silence is acceptance and I do my best not to accept the unacceptable (in a respectful way). I believe in standing up, not backing down to the poor treatment of others or myself. The bystander phenomenon drives me crazy and I wish we could count on one another to help protect one another.
8 PLUS 1, because I can’t keep it to just 8…
9. Self-growth: I realize that the more work I do on myself, the more work I have to do. I’m committed to continually trying to become a better, wiser more self-actualized person/parent/partner/friend in my journey in life.
Challenge: Take some time to think about what your “8 things you try to live by” principles are and send them along. I’d love to hear some…plus it’s an interesting exercise in clarity. Good Luck!
These are wonderful Lisa! Thanks for sharing them!
Blessings to your day!
Mary
1: I DO NOT do to another what I do not want done to me.
2: I say Please and Thank you, even in today times it means a lot.
3. Everything I do affects another at some point in their life, so be careful what you say or do.
4: I try to be as honest to others as I want them to be with me.
5. IF you are a christian, BE the part, don’t PLAY the part, you are being watched by your children.
6. I try not to be too trusting- trust is good but not to a fault..
7. I try not to Lend money, Nor borrow from friends or family if you do, do it on the fact that in you mind and theirs it is a gift given not to be repaid back, and if you or they can repay it. Then it is a bonus, NO one is hurt.
8. Tell those I love, – I love them, when they walk away, it may be the last time I will ever talk to them.
and I try to tell My LORD everyday,THANK You.
Dear Arlene: Love them! Thanks for posting.
Lisa
What simple and easy to follow advice Lisa – thanks so much! I find it also helps to monitor my ruminations (self talk) continuously to ensure that I don’t have thoughts that can undo all my positivity.
I make an effort to recognize my own growth on a daily basis – e.g. whenever I find my thoughts being about what bad stuff happened in the past, instead of giving myself the proverbial slap on the wrist, I give myself ten out of ten for being so observant and I switch my thinking to matters of the present. I do not chastise myself, but recognize and celebrate every time my internal radar flags me to some behaviour I have been trying to unlearn. Once I have dealt with my inner critic, I feel energized and can invest that energy in positive outcomes for me, my loved ones and my clients.
hi Lisa, thank you for including integrity. Integrity shows conviction with what people say and to be honest I see it as one of the best quality a person can have.