I’m shocked by all the single people who get involved with married men and women.  What are you thinking?  Actually, why are you NOT thinking?  Unless the married person lied about his/her marital status…they are OFF LIMITS.  This is not only for their family’s sake but for your sake as well.  Getting involved with a married person keeps you out of any potentially healthy relationship, keeps you in a one down position and serves as a buffer for any true commitment.  Look at your commitment issues and not married men/women.

If they lied and you later discovered their lie…they are OFF LIMITS.  If the person is willing to have an affair on his/her spouse, he/she is likely to do the same to you.  Stop thinking you are different.  Many married people claim their marriage is miserable yet act to their partner as if it’s fine.  Affairs are destroying families and if you’re having one, you are as well—regardless of what story your affair partner is telling you. 

I’m equally taken aback at the number of married people having an affair.  Stop justifying your actions and step in and deal with your marriage.  Regardless of the situation in your marriage, having an affair is not the answer.  Affairs set up countless issues for everyone involved, particularly for the innocent children rocked by the after damage.

There is no justification for affairs.  If you don’t like what’s happening in your marriage than work on it, fix it, or move on if it’s not workable.  If you need to make a difficult choice due to an unworkable situation, then do so with integrity.  Sneaking around, lying and then justifying that behavior is cowardly.  Often you feel bad, your affair partner feels bad and your family is devastated.  Stop escaping and face the issues head on.  If there are no issues and you just “fell into” an affair, then repair the damage and learn to affair proof your relationship.

If you’re single and you tell yourself that there are no “good men/women” out there, then look harder.  Choosing a married man/woman is not your answer—it is your next problem.  Anytime you become involved with someone who’s cheating on their spouse, it’s a warning sign.  Does one affair guarantee another?  No, however it certainly is a red flag. 

The bottom line is life is tempting.  There are always going to be temptations, however, what sets one person apart from another is how we handle these.  Regardless of whether you’re married or single, affairs are toxic—to you, your partner and all family members involved.  Protect yourself from affairs at all times and don’t, for a moment, justify having one.  There is no justification—only poor decisions that result in a lot of collateral damage.

 CHALLENGE:  If you’re attracted to someone who’s married—walk away.  Don’t play with fire thinking you won’t get burned; too many people have been charred by making that very same mistake.   If you’re married and looking elsewhere, stop fooling yourself into thinking the other person is the answer.  Deal with your unhappy marriage head on or your own issues that keep you straying.